This has been a whirlwind of a weekend. Homework, rehearsal dinner, homework, homework, gift wrapping, wedding, homework, church, friends, laundry, and more homework. Add in some sleep in there and that pretty much sums up the weekend. But it is over, and I am sure this week is bound to go quickly as it is the week before Christmas. (Fingers crossed...)

The downfall of Christmas this year is that due to wanting to have a paid maternity leave I only have one vacation day to take...I am clinging to the fact that because Christmas and New Years are on Sundays that I get two three day weekends in a row regardless of my vacation day. Throw in MLK day, and that makes three three day weekends out of four. Not too shabby, I suppose. And let's face it, three months off work after the arrival of Baby Girl will be WELL worth going to work when I have despite saying nearly every Sunday, "I reallllllly don't want to go to work tomorrow". (It has only been said one time today; however, I have thought it several times.)

Moving on, this weekend as I was doing my homework the TV Radio was on, and I heard a song by Sixpence None the Richer entitled "The Last Christmas Without You". I have heard it several times, but I guess I didn't really ever listen to the lyrics too closely. It basically talks about the last Christmas a family has before the birth of their child; how fitting for the stage of life Dan and I are in right now. Here are the lyrics:

I feel your heart beating
Inside my own skin
And I think of Mary
In Bethlehem

That night in a stable
Our saviour was born
Yes, we have so much
To be thankful for

On the last Christmas
The last Christmas
The last Christmas
Without you

They're choosing the colours
Preparing your room
For one day; Midsummer
The advent of you

Together we wait for
A heavenly gift
Is winter a wonder?
Enchanted that this is

The last Christmas
The last Christmas
The last Christmas
Without you

See the stars shining for above
Hear the singing
Praise to the Giver of Life and Love
Maker of Beautiful things..

I feel you heart beating
Inside my own skin
And I think of Mary
In Bethlehem

When darkness was shattered
The dawn of God's grace
And the journey'd begun
To the first Easter day

On the this Christmas
The last Christmas
The last Christmas
The very last Christmas
The last Christmas (x 3)
Without you

Wow...Wow...Wow. Not only am I wow'ing because I can hardly believe my dream of becoming a mom is coming true, but I am also wow'ing because this is truly mine and Dan's last Christmas. Not only am I wow'ing because I can feel my little miracle kicking inside of me, but I am also wow'ing that God has entrusted me to carry her. But ultimately I am wow'ing because I truly am reminded of Mary and the humbleness that she portrayed as she gave birth to the Savior of the WORLD. As a young teenager she felt the same kicks that I am feeling, and for all I know she could have had morning sickness as well. But to know that my Lord and my God started out just like my baby girl is starting out is simply amazing to me. Really, it leaves me speechless.

I have so much to learn, and I have so many areas to grow in as I journey into motherhood, but I can already tell you that as difficult it may be at times, I know God has chosen me for this. And because I can say that with confidence, I can also say with confidence that He will give me the strength I need to become the mom he is calling me to become. Just like He gave Mary the strength to be the mother that He called her to become. And for that, I say, alleluia.

Not going to lie, I've been writing part of this post in my head for about 10 days now. However, it's my last week of classes this week which has pretty much meant non-stop homework for quite some time now. Only 3 more days to go! There's a lot of work to be done, but I will make it. And then I will thoroughly enjoy my almost month break from classes; perhaps I will even be able to remind myself in that time that I enjoy reading for pleasure since I have had no time for that lately.

Also, remember when I asked a few posts ago for any of you who would to be praying for a situation that I knew God was big enough to move in? Well, He completely answered that prayer unexpectedly. He is SO good. Now I am just praying for the next step with this opportunity. And because I know He is big enough to continue answering prayers, I would ask that you would lift up the orphanage in India that is so near and dear to my heart.

Baby Girl is continuing to grow! On a positive note, she is not making me as sick anymore. And soon after Christmas I think I will be able to announce her name. She kicks a lot, and it's neat that I am starting to learn her patterns of when she is awake during the day so far. You can even see my stomach move when she moves now too!

As promised, though, I have a couple more client stories regarding parenthood/pregnancy.

1. This week I had a client ask if I was wearing maternity clothes yet. Not that it is any of her business, but I told her that I was not. She then replied, "Well, you might as well enjoy wearing your regular clothes now because you are never going to fit in them again." I didn't have the guts to tell her that I might actually be active after having my baby because I haven't smoked cigarettes for the past 10 years so I am pretty capable of still exercising considering I can still breathe.

2. Last week another one of my clients was complaining about how horrible the Department of Child Services is and how they have no business getting involved in anyone's life. As I let her continue venting, because there was no point in trying to say anything, she then proceeded to say to me, "You know, I actually had a doctor tell me I did my daughter a favor when I smoked marijuana while I was pregnant with her because it helped develop her brain!" I probably had a really confused look on my face, but I still didn't say anything. Honestly, I just thought to myself that all the marijuana she has smoked over her lifetime killed too many of her brain cells to even realize what she was saying. Once again, though, I decided to not take her advice.

It's a GIRL!!

Yes, that is right; a dream come true. We are due to have our little girl around April 23rd, and I am halfway through my pregnancy. Not too much has changed, though, yet. I'm just now starting to show and am not yet into maternity clothes, which I am not complaining about at all. I'm beyond excited to meet her, and once we have told all family what name we have picked out, I will post it.

I will say, she is quite the active little thing as her favorite pastime seems to be kicking mommy. Dan felt it for the first time before Thanksgiving and his response was, "That's weird; that is so weird. There is a BABY in there." I actually felt her move for the first time on November 16th at one of my client's houses. Three swift kicks right to the bladder; apparently she didn't like how I was sitting. (My bad, baby!) But regardless, it has to be one of the coolest feelings ever, and it such a privilege to know there is a little miracle living and growing inside of me.

The day of the ultrasound was quite possibly one of the longest days of my l.i.f.e. I had to work all day because the ultrasound was not until 4:45, and it just happened to be on the day of the first snowstorm Indiana saw this winter. The technician was running late and so was my mom, both just by a few minutes, so the lady did all sorts of measurements before she actually told us what we were having. I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest while I was waiting; I also was convinced I was going to pee my pants because my bladder was so full. But once she finally told us, I was able to enjoy the rest of the ultrasound. Dan and I truly did not have a preference either way, but we both had a feeling all along that this one was going to be a girl.

Anyway, while I am sure there are many more updates that I have to share, I've been sticking to a pretty strict schedule as far as sleeping goes for me. So I need to head that way, but something that I decided would be fun to do throughout my pregnancy is to keep track of all the fabulous parenting advice I get from my clients; most of whom I am teaching parenting skills. Ironic? Perhaps, but funny none the less. I should preface this by saying only two of my 12 clients know that I am pregnant currently, so I am sure, in the months to come, I will have plenty to add.

1. One client says to me, "Whatever you do, DO NOT get an epidural." When I asked her why she thought that, her response was, "People who get epidurals have CRAZY kids, there is just something wrong with them. I didn't have epidurals for any of my kids." I didn't bother to tell her that my mom had an epidural with me, nor did I reminder her that her daughter was my client.

2. The same client said to me before I went to find out what I was having, "Well you know, all babies start out as females and then some turn into males." I thought about explaining to her that a baby's sex is actually determined at fertilization, but that you just cannot tell what you are having until the baby is farther along in development; however, I didn't want to get in an argument so I just dropped it.

Gotta find joy in the little things in my job...until next time!

Life seems so unfair sometimes; to my clients, to members of my family, to my friends, to people in my community, and to people around the world. And I really dislike that I cannot fix things entirely for all those people. It is in situations like these that I must trust my God is big enough to handle it all...and trusting is not an easy task for me. Maybe one day it will be, but tonight it is not.

There are so many questions I have that will always remain unanswered, and I must believe, trust, and hold fast to they are all a part of God's bigger plan that I cannot see yet.

In other news: Baby Dyson is still making Momma pretty sick. Praise the Lord for Zofran. No crazy cravings or anything along those lines; actually it's a miracle in itself that I can make myself eat anything with the way I've been feeling. Hopefully one day soon, it will be done, but if not, at least I know in the end it will be worth it. Ultrasound is scheduled for November 29th...only 19 days until we know if the little miracle inside of me is a boy or girl. So excited. :)

That's all I've got for tonight. Until next time...

Tonight, Dan and I ventured out of the house for dinner; this was a feat for me considering most Friday nights you can find me laying on the couch, covered up, and not wanting to move. However, I did not want to wait for him to cook dinner, and I decided I could stomach some breaksticks and pizza...healthy choice for a pregnant girl. (yeah, right...) Don't worry, I used a napkin to soak up the extra grease off the top of my pizza and have had limited heartburn and acid reflux thanks to taking two Tums immediately after finishing. Regardless, as we were sitting there, this little boy walked in wearing his Spiderman costume; Dan and I immediately commented on how cute he was which then lead us to discussing whether or not we would allow our children to wear costumes or dress up outfits out in public. For those of you who care, we will be those parents that allow their children to express their creativity by wearing costumes, dress up outfits, mismatched socks, and unmatched outfits in general. I told Dan I might draw the line at not letting our children get too crazy with what they wear to church, but to Wal-Mart, out to dinner, and to grandparents' houses their imaginations can soar. As Dan said, "You are only a kid once!"

Anyway, a few weeks have passed since I last posted, unfortunately the morning sickness/all day sickness has not subsided. Everyone continues telling me that it will get better and I will not be so sick, but I'm beginning to wonder if that day will ever arrive. It's been 10.5 weeks since I started being sick, and trust me, it's only intensified. I started on Unisom (yes, the sleeping medicine; it used to be marketed as an anti-nausea medicine, my medically minded husband asked the pharmacist), it worked for about a week. I added B6 to the Unisom, that worked for about another week, and I finally got a prescription written today for Zofran. My fingers are crossed that it provides some sort of relief.

Otherwise, all seems to be going well in the pregnancy; minus the fact the doctors are questioning whether I am as far along as what they originally thought I was. The doctor I met today told me that he thought I was two weeks behind; (this would mean I am only 13 weeks instead of 15) the more I thought about it, the more I realized that would mean that when I took my pregnancy test I would have only been pregnant for a day or two. This is nearly impossible considering the test would have shown up negative if that were the case. Of course I did not argue, but that does mean that I had to push back the ultrasound where we will find out what we are having to December 6th; that's only like 5.5 weeks away(ish) but, it was originally scheduled for November 22nd. So unfortunately, Baby Dyson's wardrobe will not benefit from any Black Friday shopping. Sad day. But on a happier note, Baby's heartbeat was in the 150s today!

In other news, my third MSW class finished, volleyball is over for Northfield, work is blah, my fourth MSW class started, i get to sleep in tomorrow for the first time in over a month or perhaps two, another one of my closest friends is pregnant, I miss India, one of my absolute best friends from college is coming to stay next Friday, and I love my small group girls.

Volleyball ended on a rather bittersweet note for us this year; we lost in the sectional championship to our county rivals whom we already beat once earlier in the season. The reality is, though, regardless of how it ended, our girls still had a tremendous season, and it's a privilege to coach girls who have good sportsmanship, positive morals, and good character. Next year will be just as exciting, and it will be here before I know it.

Work isn't even really worth writing about right now; it's so hard for me when things are not fair for my clients and I cannot make them fair. It renders me speechless really, and to make matters worse, our beloved secretary left this week. I'm hoping and praying that after a long weekend over Thanksgiving, my attitude will be different.

Speaking of praying, I have recently started praying for God to show up in a big way for a friend of mine. Because our God is a God who knows what this specific request is, for those of you who read this, would you take a minute and ask for God to show up as well? Maybe one day I will be able to share more details, but for now, I am trusting that He hears my prayers and has a perfect plan.

Anyway, that's all for now, it's only 9:30 and I'm already contemplating going to bed...I might as well take advantage of this while I can, before I know it, I will be very sleep deprived caring for an infant.

Alright, alright; let's be honest, I've been an epic failure at keeping this blog updated. For those of you who care, I apologize. If I am being honest, part of it has been intentional and yet the other part has simply been because I have been so busy, sometimes dreadfully so. Regardless, down to business!

I started this blog the summer of my sophomore year of college, if I do the math correctly, that means I started it 4 1/2 years ago. That just seems CRAZY to me. I started this blog with the intention of not only journaling my life, but also to use it as a tool to grow in my relationship with Christ. And, I feel like He has taken me so many different places in these past 4 1/2 years...literally and emotionally.

Four and a half years ago, I had just lost my grandpa, was living at home for the summer, working on my dad's farm, and longing to be back at school living in community. Four and a half years ago, I was single, had never held down a full time job, and had only been to India one time. And now here I am; holding down a full time job, been married for over a year, have traveled to India three times since starting my blog, am in Graduate school, and have grown in ways I never fathomed. I can truly look back over my life and say God has been SO faithful.

And I plan to continue this blog as I start on a new journey...a journey that I have longed for, hoped for, anxiously awaited, and am so excited about. Being a mom. Being a mom has been my lifelong dream; I've always loved babies, I've always been drawn to young kids, and I was always "that" kid who was obsessed with playing house. While I know there are going to be many challenges that come along the way, I am looking forward to seeing how God reveals his faithfulness in this area of my life as well.

So, the whole reason that updating my blog has been so delayed is because the news did not become public until last week. But, I am back now, and I will continue recording the journey that I am on as God shapes me into the woman he has called me to be.

Anyway, besides being pregnant, life has continued flying by. I am almost done with my third MSW class, work continues being crazy, and volleyball has been simply fabulous. It has been such a privilege to help coach this group of girls this year; they have demonstrated true heart, have persevered through difficulties, and have been a joy to be around. I am excited to see how they finish out the season.

Work, eh...well, it's work. There's always a lot that is going on it seems, and right now it's just frustrating, but this too shall pass. And MSW, this class has been super informative, and I continue loving the online setting.

Being pregnant on top of work, volleyball, and school has made life infinitely more difficult. I've been sick for 8 weeks now; it started out that I was only sick in the evenings for about the first two weeks, and for about the last six weeks, I've been sick all day, e.v.e.r.y. day. I've been exhausted, and often find myself in bed by 10:00. I have to shower at night because in the mornings I usually can't stand long enough to shower without getting sick, and if I don't eat at least every three hours, there is a good possibility that if there is a couch, I will be laying on it. I'm still alive, though, and still very thankful to even have the opportunity to go through this. The end result will be so worth it. I'd be lying, though, if I didn't say that I am very ready for the second trimester; c'mon one more week!!

Also, I feel as though it is important to mention that the OB doctor I chose is from none other than INDIA. I've only actually met her one time, but I love her accent and how much it reminds me of my family halfway around the world. I am so excited for the staff and children at the orphanage to find out that I am expecting, and I am hoping and praying that sooner, rather than later, my family halfway around the world will be able to meet our little bundle of joy.

Anyway, I promise updates more regularly; if for nothing else, for me to document and remember my pregnancy because I have no doubt that it will fly by. And also because in 4 1/2 years from now, I will want to look back on this time in my life and to see how specifically God is showing up.

I am so blessed.

And did I mention how great of a husband I have? Because I really do have a great one...really, I do. He is the best, and he, too, is so excited for this new journey.

today i am thankful.

1. i am thankful for the fact that i've already finished cleaning my house, and it's only 12:30 on saturday afternoon.
2. i am thankful that last week i was able to spend time with my sister and my sweet niece. it was good for my heart.
3. i am thankful, still, that it is volleyball season. i love the girls, i love the friendships i have developed with the coaches, and i love that it is a distraction from work.
4. i am thankful for friends who know me well enough to know when something is off, friends who understand the frustrations that come along with my job, and for friends who know when i just need someone to tell me they understand and that whatever i am going through will be ok.
5. i am thankful for an understanding, incredibly patient husband.
6. i am thankful for two weeks off of classes to relax and to not have to do homework.
7. i am thankful for my time spent in india over the years. i desperately miss it, but the memories live on.
8. i am thankful for the opportunities my job gives me to interact with people who are overlooked in society.
9. i am thankful for my family and my husband's family, and for the supports they are to us.
10. i am thankful for God's faithfulness and His infinite wisdom as He guides me through life's journey and shows me my next step.