God sure does have a sense of humor and perfect timing. this morning our pastor talked about impacting our community, and it truly was just what i needed to hear.

in the line of work i do, i know i have probably alluded to the fact that it is draining, tiring, and frustrating. what i haven't talked as much about, though, is the loneliness that comes along with it. unfortunately, it's the truth. as i work with people in their homes and in the community, i get to know them on a deep level. a deeper level than some of them have every been known in their life because i take the time to care. however, because of confidentiality in my line of work, i cannot share much about the people with any of my friends or family. my husband tells me that often my clients are not "real" to him because he doesn't know their names or what they look like. and i can't blame him for saying that. it has to be hard for him to follow more stories when i say, "hey do you remember the one client i have that has 4 kids by 3 different guys?" well, a lot of my clients have 4 kids by 3 different guys...so of course he does not know who i am talking about. so the people i am investing in are a HUGE part of my life, but they are not as big of a part of anyone else's life.

secondly, another reality is that as i am working with my clients i am dealing with a great deal of trauma. i am working with kids who have been abused, parents who have abused their children, kids who often go hungry, parents who have a difficult time showing or receiving love, and families who are under a great deal of stress. it's heavy stuff...and heavy stuff that very few people can even comprehend. this also causes loneliness because once again, their trauma is very real to me but not real to those i have in my life outside of work.

but anyway, back to the sermon, what our pastor talked about today was what roles we can play in people's lives, not just who are living in darkness, but those who are serving those living in the darkness. and what he challenged people to do is to encourage. encourage those who are already serving in the community. wow. i'm not sure i have ever thought of that...

but i can tell you right now that the level of loneliness i feel would be greatly decreased if people in the church would encourage me in what i was doing. now, i am not saying this to get all kinds of encouragement or feedback from people because they feel bad they haven't done it in the past or they feel like this is a desperate cry for encouragement, because it is not. but what i do want you to think about it who else in your life is serving in the community that could use a little encouragement? and what kind of difference do you think could be made if you would take the time to encourage them on a consistent basis?

the sermon challenged me to think about how i can handle myself in my work place because i know many of my coworkers struggle with the same feelings of loneliness that i do, but i cannot touch the client's lives that they are touching. but i can encourage them to not give up, and that could have more of an impact than i may ever realize. so perhaps this will encourage someone to step out of their comfort zone and encourage someone else.

but anyway, i will get off of my soapbox about that.

what i do want to talk about is another opportunity that God has given me. i made mention of something along those lines about a month ago, but it had not become official. let's back track a bit.

since i graduated college i had been praying for an opportunity to lead a small group of girls. now, this prayer had come and gone in spurts as i had plugged myself in various avenues to invest in young girls' lives, but it had always been something i desired to do. so let's fast forward to this past volleyball season; i've talked some about a volleyball girl that i got to know fairly well, bayli, who reminds me quite a bit of myself at that age. (sometimes so much so i feel bad for her...) but anyway, after volleyball season our relationship continued and i've been blessed to get to know her on a deeper level.

throughout several of our conversations, bay has talked about her small group of girls from church. to make a long story short, bay and her fellow group members' leader is moving. it has been heart wrenching for the girls, but through a series of events, i ended up talking with their leader and have decided that i will continue leading the group as she and her family transition to their new job out of state. i am not taking over with the intention of replacing their previous leader because that just isn't possible; she has journeyed with these four girls through this last year and has seen them through some pretty difficult times. she has helped mold them and shape them into amazing Christian women after God's heart and set examples for them as she has loved them selflessly. and quite honestly, she is amazing. if i had only met her sooner, i would have loved to gotten to know her heart more so than i have been able to.

but anyway, with this small group comes four amazing young girls; bayli, bekah, claire, and paige. four girls that i am anxious to journey alongside of; four girls that i am so looking forward to getting to know their hearts; four girls that i am more excited than words can express to encourage in their faith; and four girls who i know will forever change my life as well.

my heart breaks for them as they have to go through this transition, but i feel like God has placed them in my life for a specific reason. and i don't know what that reason is quite yet, but i am sure, God will reveal that to me in His perfect timing as well.