Friday, March 26, 2010

over the past few months, i've really tried to work on looking for ways the Holy Spirit is moving when i am at work. you see, the reality of it is, i can't talk about my faith with my clients unless they bring it up, and even then, i can't push it on them. however, i firmly believe that the work that i am doing is my "mission field" for the time being. so it's been quite the challenge to see how those two things can tie together.

regardless, my prayer has been that the Lord would give me opportunities to witness to my client's, and if i'm not going to be able to use words, i pray that the Lord would allow me to be a light in the darkness to my client's. and it's quite interesting to see the ways he has answered my prayers...
one of my client's noticed my purse sitting on the floor of my car and complimented me on it, and i told her thanks and that my dad got it for me from Thailand. our conversation continued and she asked what my dad did, and i was able to tell her that essentially my dad was a missionary. she then proceeded to tell me about how she might start going to a church and that the pastor had come to meet her at her house when she was visiting with her children so he was going to come back. i told her that it might be a good change for her and that she would hopefully find a support system there for her and her children when she gets them back.
and another one of my client's was talking to me about going to church and that they were learning about the end times at her church. i asked her what they were teaching on the end times and she proceeded to talk to me about how the earthquakes and stuff happening around the world are signs that the end times are coming. i asked her what else they had taught her would happen before Jesus came back and she told me some other things, but my heart broke because she didn't understand that before Jesus can come back every tribe, tongue, and nation has to hear the Gospel. it was during this conversation that i took the opportunity to pray that the Lord would give her a deeper sense of understanding of how long, wide, and deep his love is for her and all the people who haven't even heard of him.
and yet one of my favorite opportunities the Lord has given me when i think about how the Lord has answered this prayer is with my precious seven year old. as i was driving this little girl back to her foster home after a visit, i had the radio on and she exclaimed from the backseat that she knew that song from church. i asked her if she enjoyed church and she told me that she did, and that she enjoyed singing songs. a few visits later, this same little girl and i were talking about how she had gotten her tantrums and accidents that she had been having to stop and she told me that she "prayed to Jesus." And when i asked her what she said to Jesus, she replied with complete, childlike faith, "I just asked him to make them stop, and he did!!" and then today, when i saw her, she told me that she didn't have to pray to Jesus anymore because he had made her bad dreams stop, but then went on to say that she knew if she didn't pray she was going to go to the "bad place, down there." and in the simplest terms i could put it, i told her that she could talk to Jesus anytime she wanted even if she wasn't having bad dreams. she could talk to Jesus if she wanted even when she was having good dreams. and i could see her smile in my rearview mirror. and then, i asked her if she knew what she needed to do so that she didn't go to the "bad place", and she told me that she needed to be good. and i simply looked at her and smiled, and said, "you know sweetheart, it makes Jesus very happy when you listen to people who you know you're suppose to and you have good behavior, but that isn't how you get to heaven. you get to heaven by asking Jesus to live in your heart." it was then that her eyes lit up, and she said, "well that's where He already lives!!"
what a privilege it is to be in the line of work i am in. what a privilege it is to become so involved in people's lives even when it's frustrating. and what a privilege it is to be entrusted with so much.
there are opportunities all around us to witness and speak truth into people's lives.
if you would have asked me if i would have thought God would answer my prayer in the way that he has, i guarantee you i would have told you no. but not only has he given me the opportunities mentioned above, he's given me opportunities to share with many of my client's that i'm saving myself for marriage, that i will not move in with my fiance before we get married, that i don't drink, that i don't smoke, and that i enjoy my life to the full. and you wouldn't believe how many of them don't believe me and often will argue with me that i'm lying to them. but all i can do is trust that eventually they will come to the realization that i would never lie to them about that.
i'm so thankful i serve such a faithful God who chooses to use me time and time again despite my inadequacies. and while i have no idea the impact i'm having on the majority of my client's, i'm beyond thankful i can entrust them back to the Lord's care and know that they are safe in his hands.

Monday, March 22, 2010

isn't it simply wonderful how the Lord breaks us of our selfishness to show us that his plans are far bigger and better than what we can imagine?

ashamedly i must admit that God broke me of my selfishness last week over an area that i never, not even in my wildest imagination, pictured myself being selfish in.

you see, God had opened the door for me to go back to india for a period of time time summer, but suffice it to say, i was trying to work off of my own agenda, and ended up coming up with just about every excuse in the book to not go. and then God reminded me of my prayer: "God, if this is not what you want for me to do this summer, please just shut the door." and as i look back on it, i can see that it was me who was trying to shut the door because i know how heart breaking it's going to be to only be at the orphanage for a few days rather than a month or six weeks. but the thought of holding Nanthini in my arms as she jabbers to me in tamil, and hearing sweet Sathitya's laugh, and seeing Abirami's, Jeyabala's, Perimila's, Soundarya's, Rathika's, Saranya's, Sasi Kala's smiles reminded me of why my heart is where it is.

so with all of that to say...i'm looking forward to this unexpected, yet perfect detour. and what a blessing to know that there is no better place than in the Will and Hand of the one i call Abba.