Wednesday, February 2, 2011

well, today was my first official snow day as an adult; however, since i work for a mental health agency apparently we're all medical personnel so that means that even though it was a level 1 snow emergency i should have still driven to work and taken my id with me in case i got pulled over to prevent getting a ticket. instead, i opted to take vacation time so that i didn't risk my life. not so much of a snow day, but a day off work nonetheless. and i think it was needed.

actually, i know it was needed. i think the reality of it is i don't realize how stressed out, burnt out, or emotionally drained from work i am until i have time to rest. and even when i have time to rest, i have trouble resting. but i feel like that's the story of my life.

with that said, i guess it's no secret that work hasn't been the easiest in the past two weeks. i feel like it's been a constant state of digging myself out of holes with clients that i have no business being in because i really haven't done anything wrong. it's been frustrating, upsetting, and humbling. frustrating because i hate people being upset with me no matter who they are, upsetting because i know the things i've been accused of are not my character, and humbling because God has had to remind me again that it is not my responsibility to save people.

i've had to recognize and remember that i need to make every effort to do my job well enough that if i were to get fired from a case from a client that i would have no regrets. i have had to remind myself that there is always hope even in the midst of the most hopeless situations. and i have had to remember to focus on the positives rather than the negatives. and i have had to trust more than ever that He knows what He is doing and the work that He is having me do is not in vain.

but i digress for now and will continue hoping and praying for a miracle. and i am sure, i will continue learning in the process as well.