Sunday, February 19, 2012

There are times in my life where I desperately miss living in community like I did when I was in college. Don't get me wrong, I love being married, and I love my friends that I have at this phase of my life, but there was just something about the community that I experienced when I lived in college that I long for at different points. Perhaps it was because the people I lived with day in and day out knew me and knew the real me. And not that I am "fake" with the people in my life currently, but when you live with someone it's much easier to tell when they are having a good day or a bad day. And if you know me, then you know that I often have to be forced to talk about things in life, and I feel like because I couldn't "hide" as well on my bad days while I lived in college that is what happened.

But then life happens, and you graduate from college, eventually get real jobs, eventually get married, eventually get pregnant and the authenticity seemingly fades away. Not intentionally, but because of being busy, because of distance, and because of a myriad of other things. And so I often ask myself, "Where do I go from here?"

There is no good answer or at least I haven't found one yet. It's just interesting to me, I suppose. But what would it look like if we strived for that kind of community life outside of college? What would it look like if we didn't give up searching for those authentic relationships? What would it look like if we were not only intentional in supporting others but letting others support us as well?

I suppose it would look more like the Body of Christ; I long for that more than I long to be back at college, and I just needed to share.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Welcome to week 29 of my pregnancy; I know, I know, I missed a few weeks. Every Sunday after church after I already put my sweats on, I always said, "DANGIT! We forgot to take a picture again." And the reality of it was I didn't want to change back for a picture. Overall, pregnancy has gotten easier. The sickness still is gone unless I go too long without eating. The downfall is that I'm having to get up more in the night to go to the bathroom, and I'm starting to not sleep as well. On the brighter side, you can definitely see my stomach move all the time when she is moving at this point. She responds to noises, and she really likes the music at church. Her sleeping patterns vary it seems, but she is definitely the most active at night. I feel her kicking me in the middle of the night too when I lay back down to go to sleep. I feel like I need to enjoy these few weeks of pregnancy as MUCH as possible considering that the first several were rather rough, especially since I have heard how uncomfortable I am likely going to start getting. Moving on though.

Life outside of pregnancy has been hectic. I picked up a few new cases at work, and I have been busier in the last few weeks than I have been in months. This definitely helps the days go by faster, but I hate feeling behind in the office. My to-do list is getting shorter, but due to my type A personality I hate the fact that there is still even a to-do list on my desk as I'm sitting at home right now. Not enough to work on it while I am at home and not enough to terribly stress myself out at work, but I still dislike it. One of my new cases includes me working until 7:00 p.m., which isn't the end of the world, but it just is going to take awhile to get used to. The upside is that I only have 10-11 weeks until maternity leave so it can't be too terrible!

In other news...I don't feel as though I can post the whole story here, but I learned this week and last week that people are desperate and not trustworthy. A client with whom I work stole my wallet while in the car with me. Now, of course, it's a material thing and the reality of it is, I am fine and Eliana is fine and for that I am grateful, but it just doesn't make sense to me how someone who I am trying to help feels as though they can take advantage of me like that. Regardless, it is out of my hands at this point, but I was angry and I still kind of feel angry at times. My wallet didn't really mean that much to me; sure, it was cute and I liked it, but it can be replaced. The money I lost, well I'm not sure that will ever be replaced, but the tickets from my honeymoon and the receipt from the pregnancy test that I was planning to put in Eliana's babybook are gone. They are small and in the big scheme of things they don't matter, but it just is so not right. However, in spite of my anger, I have had to pray consistently for God to help me handle the situation with grace. And out of that, I want this person to know that while there will likely be consequences for their actions and choices, they still have a second chance. Honest to goodness, I believe that with my whole heart. And I have been praying somehow God will use this as a wake up call and that they will learn something from this. Don't get me wrong, it's not ok to steal, but there is always forgiveness.

On a lighter note, I haven't posted any parenting advice. I guess this has also kind of turned into funny things people say to me throughout my pregnancy too so here I go:

1. I had a lady say to me the other day as she asked if I would like to hold her son, "Have you ever thought of how crazy it would be if your daughter and my son got together and got MARRIED? Then we would be related!" I thought to myself quickly and wasn't entirely sure how to respond other than by saying, "No, I've never thought of that." She was insistent that it could happen due to them being the same age. I'm convinced there has to be something in the social work code of ethics that forbids it. Not to mention that I would forbid it for my daughter knowing what I know.
2. One of my 9 year old clients could not WAIT to tell me when I got to her house, "Did you know that everytime you pee, your baby pees at the same time? Everytime you poop, your baby poops too?!" I about died...
3. And just today, as I was playing with this man's 15 months old son, he looks at me and says, "Do you even have any experience with kids?" I wanted to say, "No, I don't; I don't get PAID to work with families and children or anything. I have never babysat for anyone in my life, I have no nieces or nephews, I have no younger cousins, and quite honestly, I could REALLY use your help telling me all there is to not about babies since you are a superstar dad." However, I refrained considering that I have been working with this family for approximately 3 years, and I did not figure that he would catch my intense sarcasm. Instead I said, "Yes, I have some experience with kids." And moved on from there...

I am never ceased to be amazed though. Never...nor do I think I will ever be as I continue on my journey in that job.