17 days. my stomach drops at the sound of that. i can't believe it's really this close.

in 17 days, i will be boarding the plane in indy to fly to chicago only then to board another plane to fly to mumbai, and 18 hours later, when we arrive in mumbai, we will board another plane to fly to another city where we will be met by my dad and someone else to drive us another 3 hours to the orphanage. and finally, we will arrive at the place we will call home for 6 weeks.

in the 17 days that are still remaining before my dream truly becomes a reality, i will continue praying that the Lord would open my eyes to what He has in store for us, and what He is going to do in and through us while we are gone. and not only that, but i will praise Him for the opportunity and for the fact that He trusts me with a task that seems far too large for me. and the only reason i am going with confidence is because i know that i am not alone, nor will i ever be.

Refine Me; Jennifer Knapp

I come into this place burning to receive your peace. I come with my own chains. From wars I've fought for my own selfish gain. You're my God and my Father. I've accepted your son. But my soul feels so empty now what have I become?

Lord come with your fires, burn my desires--refine me. Lord, my will has deceived me please come and free me. Refine me, refine me.

My heart can't see When I only look at me. My soul can hear. When I only think of my own fears. They are gone in a moment you're forever the same. Why did I look away from you. How can I speak your name?

Lord, come with your fire burn my desires refine me. Lord, my will has deceived me please come and free me. Come rescue this child for I long to be reconciled to you. Refine me..All I can do is lift my heart and soul to you. And pray oh I will pray...


what perfect timing it was for me to hear this song.
and i will continue praying, that is for sure.

"No one's done until they're dead."

it's surreal that four weeks from today i am leaving. i truly can't wrap my mind around it. and as much of a roller coaster these past few months have seemed to be, i am beyond thankful for the fact that i have finally recognized the importance of hope, and i am learning what it means to be humbly willing on so many different levels. praise the Lord for his faithfulness.

"He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls."
1 Peter 2:24-25

a wise and very dear friend of mine just recently told me that the Lord still uses the brokenhearted.

how thankful am i for her words of truth.

six weeks from tomorrow. how is that even possible?

time has been flying by lately. wednesday is the last day of the semester, and then i am officially a senior. where have these last three years gone?

goodness.

regardless, as each day passes i continue getting more and more excited. the two girls and i had the opportunity to meet with the american board of directors two weekends or so ago. it was so comforting being in the presence of people who you know have been praying for you on a daily basis, and it was so encouraging for stacey and jess to meet these people and vice versa.

it still doesn't seem like it's really going to be happening, and it probably won't seem real until i'm at the airport on june 3 leaving behind everything i find comfort in and everything that i think is normal. but, until then i just keep praying that the Lord would be preparing my heart as well as the hearts of those i am going to encounter in India.

72 days.

as i scroll through my pictures from India, periodically, my heart is warmed, and my excitement continues to grow day by day.

since my last post, i feel like quite a bit has happened. God has continued to show up, and He is putting everything exactly in place.

the first big thing is that stacey made the decision to go with us this summer. the second big thing is we now have a translator, nivya, and dad found stacey's preceptor for her nursing requirements. our tickets will be purchased within the next couple weeks; it seems unreal.

i am continually amazed, and i am so excited to continue learning and for the Lord to continue preparing my heart. and for now, i'm going to end with a quote that stuck out to me from Bill Hull's book The Disciple Making Church,

"I am not sure why evangelicals experience so much angst over God’s will: It always seems clearly communicated when needed. So many Christians want to know too much too soon; they would rather walk by sight, knowing what is going to take place beforehand. However, God requires us to walk by faith, not knowing the unnecessary. Part of resting in Christ and finding his contentment involves the willingness to live in a fog over future details."

i pray that i will continue learning what it truly looks like to walk by faith, and that i will find contentment while living in the fog.