as i write tonight, i find myself nestled in my comfortable red chair, wrapped in my cow blanket, back at iwu. house is on tv right now, the link to facebook is on the bottom of my screen with a freshly finished game of word twist behind me, and yet even with all the distractions, i would be lying if i said my mind wasn't trying to travel to 1,000 different places at about 100 miles per hour. i can't even entirely put words to everything; however, i might as well try...

i never would have guessed that the lessons i learned this summer while in india about the power of prayer and about entrusting others into the Lord's care would be playing such a huge role in my life right now. i guess it just goes to show that we, as Christians, are never done learning or growing.

regardess. i received an email late last tuesday night asking for urgent prayer for my beloved thatta halfway around the world. as soon as i read the subject of the email, my eyes welled with tears, and when i read that Johnson was in ICU of a hospital on a ventilator, the tears started falling. images flashed through my mind of the hospital we worked in this summer, the ICU there, of Johnson sitting at his desk exclaiming, "Good morning, children!" as the three of us girls would open the door to our apartment, of his belly jiggling as he laughed with us during coffee every afternoon, of him saying, "We go" after we finished dinner, of walking down the path with him to the orphanage singing hymns, of our last sunday together, of our good-bye at the airport and countless others. and then i started to envision this man, who i admire, adore, love, cherish, and miss so much laying in a hospital bed...completely helpless. and i, halfway around the world from him, am completely helpless as well.

needless to say, the tears continued to fall and sleep was hard to come by that night.

the days that have followed have been no walk in the park. emails have continued to come--some giving me hope, others making me face the harsh reality that he might not live. i check my email multiple times a day with hopes of receiving news, knowing that in the mean time there is nothing i can do but pray.

i don't think that when Johnson told us girls this summer that he had faith we would meet again i realized how precious those words were. i feel as though i simply overlooked the fact that the truth he spoke of might not mean we would meet again here on earth, but rather someday we would be joyfully reunited in heaven...and what better place for that?? i'm not saying i think i won't see him again until both of us are in heaven, because i have faith that God, who is still a God of miracles, can completely heal him, but i am now acknowledging and remembering the fact that the Lord's ways are and always be far above mine.

the thousands of miles that are separating us make my heart hurt and the cost of a plane ticket and the reality that classes start on tuesday make my head spin. i would drop everything in a heartbeat to go sit by his bedside, to go and spend time with the children and let them know i'm just as scared as they are, and to offer encouragement in whatever way i can. but. i will continue reminding myself of the power of prayer and the importance of entrusting those whom i hold dearest to my heart into his care because they are much safer there anyway.

and as all of this continues to transpire, i will continue trusting blindly that when i am without words, the Holy Spirit will intervene. and i rest in the fact that the same Jesus who wraps me in his loving arms and wipes each tear away that i cry is also in the hospital room with Johnson, holding him and his family close to his heart, wiping their tears away, and calming their fears.

[thank you, Lord, that you are in more than

one place at a time, and that you are and always will be

in control. i praise you for still being God of miracles,

and i humbly bow at your feet asking for just that. i ask

that your power would be made perfect in all our weaknesses

who are involved in this situation--whether directly

or indirectly. would you place your angels

at the four corners of Johnson's room and not allow

satan to have any place in this situation? i pray for a

peace that passeth all understanding, and i ask that you would

simply bring healing. allow Johnson and his family to experience

you in a new and different way and may the cloud of

witnesses see your glory reflected in this situation and learn

and recognize how powerful you are through this.

may all the glory, honor, and praise go to you, Father.

thank you for the awesome privilege you give to your children

in praying for their fellow brothers and sisters, and thank

you for being a God of compassion and a God who cares.]