"Is this not the kind of fasting I want: Free those who are wrongly imprisoned, lighten the burden of those who work for you. Let the oppressed go free and remove the chains that bind people. Share your food with the hungry and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from your relatives who need help...Feed the hungry, and help those in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon. The Lord will guide you continually giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength. You will be like a well watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring."
Isaiah 58:6-7, 10-11

i was able to go to chapel this wednesday for only like the third time this whole semester, and the verses written above were the basis of the service along with 1 John 3 about not merely saying we love each other but showing the truth by our actions.

i was moved to tears. the hard truth of the service pointed out the fact that knowing God intimately affects how we care for the poor. as i sat and reflected about that more and more, i craved to know the Lord at a deeper level in order to love others more. it reminded me of my children halfway around the world, and it reminded me of the clients i see on a daily basis.

i have thought about the fact that although i have continued praying for the Lord to break my heart for what breaks his and he has continued to answer that in different ways, i am still only getting small glimpses of what that truly looks like. and as much as it may hurt on certain days, i wouldn't change it for anything.

as i flip through the pages of my journal, i notice that my entries may be few and far between, but yet i am so thankful for the journey that fills the pages. i am continually reminded that the Lord is directing my steps, that in the midst of confusion he is always present, that his ways are so much higher than mine, and that as many times as i fail and stumble he remains faithful.

i will never understand, but i will continue to be thankful.
and i will continue to be thankful for all of always.

may he continue using, shaping, molding, and changing me in whatever way he has ordained. may my life bring glory, honor, and praise to his name, and may he continue to give me the great privilege of being his hands and feet.