it's been a month since thatta has passed away, but yet i'm still not sure it has completely hit me that he's gone. the pictures of his tombstone have come, the updates about the funeral have been read, and tears continue to be shed over the loss. i miss him, but i've never stopped missing him since i walked into the airport all those months ago after the six most amazing weeks of my life. so i guess i'm not entirely sure i realize now what is so different. i know in my head that he is gone, but i don't think it's reached my heart yet. and i'm not entirely sure that will happen until i arrive at the orphanage again.

plans have continued to fall into place for this summer, and as excited as i am for it, i think i'm realizing how different it is going to be. not only is thatta gone, but i received another email this week that one of the girls i connected with the most ended up taking a government job due to the loss of her father and the extreme financial need her mother was in. this is quite unheard of at the orphanage especially since this young girl was in college to become a nurse. she was one of the most respected girls in the orphanage and had such a sweet spirit. i just hope that i will be able to connect with her while i am there...

and as the days continue whizzing by, i continue to be amazed at what the Lord is teaching me and how he is moving in my life. i'm not sure i'll ever get used to the fact that the journey he has me on takes unexpected twists and turns, but in the end, i'm always grateful for them. i've realized more this week than normal that i must continue to trust, speak truth, love, be patient and surrender. and as difficult as those things may be at different times, i'm excited to see where they may lead me next.