today is one of those days that my insides are bursting with anger at the injustices i am surrounded by everyday. legitimately. i tried to let it go on my way home from work, but it just wasn't happening today. over the past two years i've had to learn how to let things go or i wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

i guess it was just one of those weeks that i realized how fragile people are. how broken some people are. how unfair some peoples lives are or have been. how unrealistic some people's expectations are. how lazy some people are. how disadvantaged some people are. and the list could go on and on.

and i hate that i cannot do anything about it. other than be there now. of course, of course i recognize that being there now is doing SOMETHING but i can't change the past for any of these people i work with. and it breaks my heart that i can't. it breaks my heart that when i asked a young girl if she could say anything to someone who has hurt her very badly, her response was, "why did they have to ruin my life?" that there was so much truth to that.

it makes me angry when i talk with some parents about their children they just expect them to turn out well behaved, and they refuse to take any responsibility for the fact that they need to provide consistency, love, support, and boundaries. and then when their children start showing negative behaviors it is always someone else's fault or they need to be medicated, and when it is all said and done they refuse to put forth the effort to give positive or negative consequences and change the environment they have created for their children.

sometimes i just have to say to my friends who work in the same field, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" just because i can't take the ridiciulousness any longer. seriously, ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

unfortunately, though, i'm not kidding and the situations i deal with daily are not jokes. far from jokes actually.

and on nights tonight where i feel angry, frustrated, disheartened, annoyed, and dumbfounded i think about the story in the Bible where Jesus was angry that the people had turned His temple, His house of prayer into a den of thieves. His anger was righteous, and He over turned tables. and the situation He was dealing with was definitely no joke, but i wonder to myself, did He ever think, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?"

i suppose that will be one of the questions i ask Him when i meet Him face to face. but i can't help but feel like my anger is righteous, so i guess until then i will just have to pray He helps me handle it in that manner...and that He gives me the strength to endure.