these past two mornings on my way to work my heart has been heavy. not because i'm dreading going to work, but because of the injustices that are continuing to reveal themselves to me.

i've been thinking about my clients, my client's kids, friends who have been struggling, and other things going on in the news both locally and globally.

it is so frustrating that i can't "fix" things. obviously i'm not suppose to, but i so want to. so i had a little talk with God about that this morning. of course, it didn't go as i necessarily wanted, but it went as needed. (thanks, God).

me: "God....why? why are these things happening? how are these things happening? i'm so angry and i hurt for these people"
God: "it breaks My heart too..."
me: "but why are they continuing?"
God: "because the world you live in is broken and sinful."
me: "i hate it..."
God: "i hate it too; i hate seeing My children hurt. i hate seeing My children in pain."
me: "i know You do, but it just doesn't make sense."
God: "it isn't suppose to make sense...You are suppose to trust."
me: "trust how?"
God: "trust that I will somehow use all of these messes of a situation for My Kingdom and My Glory. it may not be immediate, but I know what I am doing. I can see 20 years from now and 100 years from now. you cannot."
me: "i know...i know. but i hurt for these people, Lord."
God: "I know you do, and I have designed you in that way. I always know what I am doing."
me: "i know You do...thank You for the reminder. i do trust You, but i need You to help me to trust you more."
God: "I can do that, and I will do that."
me: "thank You; please go with me through my day."
God: "I am always with you. always."

all of that to say; my heart still hurts. but if my heart still hurts like this, i can only imagine how His heart hurts. life is quite unfair, but i remain thankful that i serve the Ultimate Judge. and i pray His Kingdom would come to this earth.