it's hard to believe it's been almost four months since i returned back to the states. and it's even harder for me to believe how tender my heart has truly become since returning home. i never used to cry, and now daily, it is almost guaranteed that my eyes will well with tears at least once, and more often than not, they spill over onto my face.

i wouldn't change it for the world.

there are certain points during the day that i catch myself daydreaming, thinking about what the children are doing, what johnson is doing, or what i would be doing if i were there right then, but then i am quickly brought back to reality when i am hit in the face with the harsh reality that i am halfway around the world from them.

i wish i could click my heels three times and be there, laughing with johnson, playing with the children, joking with the staff, eating with my fingers, and sitting on the roof pouring our my heart to the Lord. if only it were that easy.

i think over the course of the last two weeks i have been completely and utterly overwhelmed with the brokenness i see all around me each and everyday. and i hate it and love it all at the same time. i hate it because i hurts but i love it because it truly is giving me a glimpse of what the Lord sees on a daily basis.

oh life...