even though i've had a blog for three years or so, i've never been all that dedicated to using it. but recently, i've come across several blogs that i love reading. and i think that i love reading them because i love knowing people's stories. love it. now, i am well aware my blog will never be as popular as the people's i have found, but i love the fact that i can look back over all my blog entries and see how the Lord has moved in my life. and for that i am thankful.

i am also thankful that i have tomorrow off work and that my husband and i are going to finally get to spend some quality time together. time off work and time with my husband are both desperately needed.

now granted, i will only be taking 2 hours of vacation time because i somehow managed to work 38 hours in a 4 days, but i've survived. and i can't wait to go to bed tonight and not have to set an alarm. really, it's the little things in life that i get so excited about anymore.

but beyond that, i feel like God has really been challenging me lately. in college, i read a book with my beloved accountability partner and eventual roommate called Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World. as we sat in the coffee shop on campus discussing this book, i remember so desperately wanting to be like Mary but knowing that my life did not reflect that. my life reflected Martha. and my life now is reflecting Martha.

i'm wrestling with this truth. i've become accustomed to being busy. it's not an excuse but it's become my lifestyle. i was busy in high school, i was busy in college, i'm busy as an adult. i don't know how to not be busy. i'm queen of making my schedule piece together for work; i've been able to fit helping with volleyball in, i've been trying to balance my new role as a wife, maintaining a house, keeping in contact with family and friends, and trying to fit in taking care of myself. i'm used to it.

so how do i not be busy? i haven't figured that out yet, but i want to be like Mary. i want to sit at the feet of my Savior and not worry about the craziness going on around me. i want Him to teach me and i want to hear His voice. so i need to be more intentional, and i need to be willing to say no.

i trust that He knows what He is doing with my inadequacies, and i am thankful that He is still faithful.